Thursday, February 26, 2009

I've had quite a few things that I wanted to post about lately, but I have been waiting to close my blog before I do so.

I guess waiting on blogging about these few things has also caused me to slack as far as posting about anything else. I have some recent picture too that I need to post.

Post subjects that I will hopefully be getting to soon:
-My thoughts on THE ex-wife
-My thoughts on the situation with Andi and why I am not keeping Chloe anymore.
-Megan's first birthday party-pictures
-Recent photo's
-Tyler-court

I have decided to go ahead and close this blog today. Probably this evening sometime, so that I can start my blogging again.

Those of you that are lurkers and are just saying hello, I am really sorry, but I think I have decided to stick with familiar readers only.

Certain things I write about are getting back to the ex-wife through someone reading my blog, and taking it as far as reading through a post that I commented on that included over 1,500 comments and finding my comment in the mix. Not real sure how that was possible, considering that there were quite a few "Ashley's" that commented and when you clicked on my name, it didn't send you to my blog. So that must have taken a lot of thought and effort to figure out what comment was from me.

I will elaborate more on the problems with the ex wife later.

It really isn't that big of a deal that she reads my blog, but it has gotten to the point where I would prefer write about whatever I want, whenever I want. And it isn't only her that I have a problem with reading my blog.

Anyways, this all seems a bit petty and high school-ish (is that a word?) and for that I apologize. I am just ready to make this blog into a place where I can open up about my feelings.

I hope that there are no hard feelings to those of you who I have decided not to add. It really isn't anything personal.

Thank you.

I'll be back to blogging soon!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ta-Da!

I'm finished decorating my blog and I think I like it. :)

Will be switching this blog to private on Thursday.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Under Construction

Obviously, I am working on changing my background and header again. I think the one that I have right now is a little too loud for me and really doesn't match well. So, over the course of the next couple of days, I will be trying some new things out. So bare with me! :)

On another note, Ava's second top tooth, finally broke through. Once that one comes in, she will have a total of 4 teeth right now! Two on top and two on bottom. :)

Just a reminder, if you haven't already sent me your email, please do. I will be switching this blog to private soon. Those of you who have already, thanks! I will be sure to add you.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Going Private

I think I have decided to go ahead and switch my blog back to private. I am just not sure that I want certain people reading about our lives anymore, so I would prefer to just avoid any more problems this may cause. Plus, I would like to write about certain things without worrying about who is reading it.

So, what I need from you guys is, your emails!! I have gained quite a few blogging buddies and I really enjoy your input, advise and sweet comments. So if you would, send me an email at ashley137reneeATyahooDOTcom or leave a comment with your email address and I will be glad to add you to the readers list.

I am not sure how much longer I will keep this blog open to the public, but I will at least give it through Monday.

Thanks loves! :)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Our Family Portraits - Feb 2009


I think our pictures turned out pretty decent. I would have liked to have gotten a couple more of Tyler and Ava but we had already gone back in a second time (the photographers idea!)to snap some more pictures and they didn't turn out so I wasn't about to make him take more. LOL

I may just take Tyler back by himself later on and get a couple of poses. We don't have many recent pictures of him that are decent. He likes to make his silly faces and stuff, which is fine with me, because it shows his personality, but I like to have some nice photos to hang up as well.

I have 4 different poses of Elise!! Every one they took of her came out perfect, of course. They last one was a special request by Michael. He just loves when she winks at us, so he wanted to get a photo of it. Her face is kind of squinched up, but I think it'll be cute to look back on and show her. She walks around here winking at us and raising her eyebrows up and down at you. It is absolutely adorable.

The one we got of Ava is perfect! Her hands are a tiny bit blurred but I still think it's great. I didn't sweat the fact that I wasn't able to get more of her, because Kelly is going to take her 1 year photos soon. I had spoke with Kelly about taking our family portraits also, but she was going to be on vacation that weekend so we went with the studio this time. I would love to get us in for a session with Kelly also, because I personally would prefer having them done outside and with a little bit more of a personal touch to them. I am sure we will probably end up waiting until the baby is born but who knows?

I am SO glad we were able to get our photos done before I was nine months pregnant this time. That is why I was in such a hurry to get in and get them done, I didn't want to be showing.
Not that I minded being pregnant in our last photos (I actually liked having some pregnancy photos done) but those are the only professional family portraits we have. I am glad we were able to get some more done. Now I need to go out and buy some frames!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentines Day

Yesterday morning, Michael headed over to my mom's house to help them start loading up the Uhaul, while Ava and I stayed home for a little while. I picked up one of those pre-cut scrapbooks from Walmart and stayed up until 2 in the morning working on it. I filled it with pictures of Mom, Corey, Harley and Evan with Ava as well as a couple of family pictures and pictures of Tyler and Elise. Anyways, I still had a few pages left to finish, so I worked on those and took my time getting ready before heading over to my mom's. I knew that they wouldn't let me lift anything anyways, so I wouldn't have been too much help. I also knew that I wouldn't be able to hold it together for too long, which I was right about. When Ava and I got there we gave them their Valentine's presents and the scrapbook. Mom started crying as she flipped through it, which then made me cry of course. It took me a little while to get my feelings under control, but it was pretty much smooth sailing after that. It wasn't too hard to tell them goodbye since I got a lot of my crying out of the way already. I held it together the rest of the day and still haven't gotten upset yet. I think I'll be ok for a week or so and then it'll hit me when I decide to drive over for a visit and realize that she is no longer there.

Michael, Ava and I all took a pretty decent nap yesterday which was fantastic, especially with the rain and all. We pretty much laid around being lazy most of the afternoon/evening, and then went out to dinner.

When we had our family portraits taken at JcPenny, Michael and I came across this sofa table, mirror and candle holder set that was on sale for a really good price. I have been wanting to fix and change some things up in here a bit as I have mentioned before so I was pretty excited to get that from him for Valentines Day yesterday! I love it and I am SO glad to have that dresser out of the entry way now! (yes, we had a dresser in the entryway... don't ask)

I also got chocolates and a card of course. Overall, it was a sad day, yet a good day as well. Today marks 2 years since I first met Michael in person. :)



P.s.- I need to get 2 candles for the candle holders, I know. ;)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

A thoughtful gift..

Ava and I went over to Katie's for dinner tonight. It was D-E-LICIOUS! Mason and Ava played and Katie and I watched Grey's Anatomy.

Katie mailed Ava a Valentines Day card from Mason to Ava and also gave her a Valentines Day puppy. So sweet.

I was extremely upset the other night when I found out my mom was moving. Katie always knows what to say to make me feel better and she always puts a lot of thought into the things she does for other people.

Tonight she gave me this frame that she made herself for Ava. I told her that my Mom was worried about Ava not remembering who she was after she moves, so she made this frame for her to put in her room with her MeeMaw's picture in it. I thought that was so sweet and so very thoughtful. We appreciate it Katie!


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Mumbo Jumbo..

  • I am extremely exhausted and don't even feel like posting but decided to be lazy and just do a few bullets.
  • Yesterday Ava turned 11 months. I wanted to get a picture of her and post it in an "11 month" post yesterday but never got around to it. I thought about it though. That counts for something right?
  • Today we had court. We got there at 9am and didn't leave until 5pm. It was a very long day. We were able to finish our trial and we have to go back on Tuesday in order for the judge to speak with Tyler. He will tell us his decision that day. I'm not real sure where we stand as of right now. Things went well and in our favor and things went the complete opposite also, which was to be expected. I guess I am being a bit of a pessimist, but I think I am just trying to prepare myself for the worst, just in case. I just pray for whatever is best for Tyler.
  • We are pregnant. I have not been to a doctor yet, but by mine and my mom's calculations, I believe I am about 8 weeks along. I took a test about 4 weeks ago; the night Michael and I took the boys to the Monster Truck show. Honestly, we wanted to wait until court was done before we told too many people, but most people know by now. I have debated back and forth on whether I wanted to go into detail about my feelings on this pregnancy here, because I don't want to hurt any body's feelings. But after much thought, I feel that this blog is mine. It is here for me to talk about my life and my feelings and whatever else I want to put on here. So I will start off by saying that I hope that what I am going to say doesn't hurt any body's feelings but I need to get it out. I feel that I don't talk much about my feelings here and I wish I did. I wish I found it easier to put my thoughts and feelings into words, but it has never been easy for me.
  • Back to my point, I have mixed feelings about this pregnancy. It was not planned. I did want another baby but I didn't feel that I was ready for it any time soon. As selfish as it sounds, I was actually enjoying having my body back and I was enjoying my time with Ava and trying to just enjoy it and take it all in. I know that having a 1 1/2 year old and a newborn baby is going to be hard work. I also know that Ava isn't going to get the attention that she is used to getting. On the other hand, I am glad they will be close in age. I don't want to say that I am not excited about this pregnancy, because I know that I will be. It's not really that I am not excited about it right now, I guess I am just scared. It is going to be SO overwhelming! The fact that my mom is moving is a pretty big bummer as well. She helped me so much with my pregnancy with Ava and even stayed a week when she was born. I know she will be just a phone call away and I am pretty certain that she will be here when this baby is born also. Bottom line is, I was not ready yet, nor was I expecting it. I know it will all work out and I KNOW without a doubt in my mind that I will get more and more excited as time goes by.
  • I still don't feel like I explained my feelings really well above, which is why I don't do it often.
  • I am tired and I have been having cravings this time around WAY more than I did when I was pregnant with Ava, and I am barely 2 months along! This could be a problem...
  • Being pregnant is a big reason for FINALLY getting into the studio for some family portraits. As I said before, I have been wanting to get them done since Ava was born and I have been planning on going for about a month now. I decided that I'd rather get our family portraits done BEFORE I was nine months pregnant this time. LOL I am glad we got them done and I think they turned out pretty good. I pick them up on Monday.
  • I can't stop thinking about court and I can't stop worrying about Tuesday. These next few days are going to drag by..
  • My house is STILL not cleaned and STILL not in order. It's better than it was but I really need to get back on the ball. So much has been going on lately that I have just pretty much let it go for about a week or so.
  • Ava's top tooth broke through about a week or 2 ago. I don't even know exactly when. All I know is it is almost half way through.
  • I am off to bed to read. I am beyond exhausted.

Update: I just wanted to say that I AM excited about this pregnancy and my husband couldn't be happier to have our 2nd together before he is forty! LOL Everyday I get a little more excited and I'm getting curious now as to whether we are having a boy or a girl. At this point, I would be happy with either. I would love to have a boy also, but on the other hand, if we have a girl, we are SET! Plus, Ava will have a sister pretty close to her age that she could grow up with and hopefully have a close relationship with like I do with my siblings. Either way, this baby is a pure blessing to our family and I know that God just had different plans in store for us and I am totally ok with that. So bring on the baby belly!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Devastated.

My mom found a buyer for her house which I have already mentioned. Just found out tonight that they are moving THIS WEEKEND!

I haven't even prepared myself for this yet. I knew it was going to happen but I wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. I feel like I am losing a part of me and it sucks.

I am so used to seeing her any time I want and now that wont be an option. Of course I can take trips out there on the weekends to see her, but we all know how easier said than done that is. She said tonight that she is afraid that Ava isn't going to know her anymore.

I never wanted to be so far away from her (I guess I should look at the bright side.. she could be moving further away) and it still seems so surreal to me right now.

We are all going to her house on Sunday to see her, Corey and the kids off. That is going to be one of the hardest days of my life.

I don't even know what to say. It is 8:30 and I think I am just going to crawl in bed and read, possibly cry, myself to sleep.

I am SO not ready for this.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Pay It Forward

Yesterday evening we had 2 gentlemen knock on the door. I usually don't even listen to the people who go door to door trying to get donations and so forth. I don't normally give them a chance to start their stories. I tell them I am not interested and closed the door. I am sure they are usually cursing me as they walk away. I KNOW that I can be a sucker sometimes and I know that as soon as I give them a chance to tell their story, I am drawn in and I can't seem to tell them no. But tonight as I opened the door, I instantly knew I wouldn't be able to turn them away.


Basically, they are a foundation that takes in homeless addicts (whether it be drugs, or alcohol) and provide a place for them to stay, food and clothing. They train them to go door to door, learning communication skills and selling magazines in which the profit goes towards their meals, etc. This particular gentleman who was being trained really touched my heart tonight. He was bundled up in his jacket, shivering and was having a really difficult time. He asked permission to sit down on my front porch and put his head in his hands. Today was his fifth day in training and he was exhausted, and mentally and emotionally drained. I haven't exactly been in his position, by far, but I do have an small idea what it is like to have an addiction and I guess it just hit home for me. I signed up for 3 years of the Parenting & Child magazine and handed over $60.00 for it, 5 of which was for him to get something to eat or whatever. My husband told me that I am a complete sucker and that I just fell for a scam. I really hope that is not the case and I don't think it is. All I know is, I couldn't turn them away and I had to help. I did it from my heart because I wanted to, and whether it was a scam or not, that is what matters.


I haven't ever done anything like this before, as far as buying things from people selling them door to door (except girls scout cookies!) and I don't regret it. Michael hates that I can't pass a homeless person without giving them a few dollars. I have gotten a lot better about that, but I used to give them money every time I saw one! Now I keep it to a minimum of every once in a while when I see someone that I feel really could use my help. Obviously, I can't help everyone and there are times where we really could use the money that I give away so freely. But it makes me feel good to know that I have done a small part in helping some one else out. All I know is, there have been numerous times that people have helped me out in one way or another and I guess I am just "paying it forward".

Friday, February 6, 2009

I have been lazy..

I haven't really felt like blogging much lately and honestly haven't had much time too. I have not been feeling well the past couple days and neither has Ava so that is also another excuse reason for not blogging.. I did skip Not Me! Monday also, and I didn't want to, because I LOVE Not Me! Monday.. but, again, didn't feel like it. So, here's a few updates on what is going on in my world..

My mom gave us Harley's play kitchen for Elise. It is practically new and has barely been played with. I decided that I would put the kitchen in Ava's playroom. One reason being that, Elise doesn't really have anywhere to put it in her room. And another reason being that, I wanted to try to make Elise feel included and for her and Ava to share that playroom. The kitchen came with lots of plastic food, plates and silverware. I picked out the small things and the silverware and put it up where Ava can't reach it. I must have overlooked a plastic fork. Ava and Chloe were playing in the play room and I heard a really weird noise. I wasn't quite sure what it was so I walked over to check in on them. Ava began screaming at this point and was on the floor on her hands and knees. I thought she had fallen but when I reached her and bent down to pick her up, I noticed the play fork on the floor in front of her with blood running down it. I looked in her mouth and she had cut her gums on the top where a tooth had just broken through. I felt HORRIBLE! She cried and cried ALL DAY LONG when she wasn't sleeping (she slept a majority of the day). She started running a fever that afternoon of 101.6 I believe. I noticed that she wasn't moving her head as much either. I don't know if her head got jerked back when she fell on with the fork in her mouth or what. She has ran a fever off and on for 3 days now, so I am beginning to think that it is because she is teething. She has also had a little diarrhea. The fact that it all happened (falling, fever and her neck) around the same time really concerned me. She seems to be doing much better, but still isn't leaning her head all the way back. When I gave her a bath today and tried to lean her head back to rinse the shampoo out, she started crying. I really don't think it would be anything more than a pulled muscle or something like that, otherwise I think she would be screaming her head of at any slight movement. Poor Ava. :(

Tomorrow we are having our family portraits done at Jc Penny (which I have been talking about doing for almost a month now. Ahem.) and I am excited. The only professional family portraits we have were taken right before Ava was born and I look like I am about to pop. Honestly, I have been wanting to get them done again since Ava has been born, but we just haven't been able to spend that kind of money on them. I am glad to finally be able to do that, regardless of the fact that Ava is almost ONE! Better late than never.

We are also meeting with my Mother In Law for lunch tomorrow. I always enjoy seeing her and she enjoys being able to see the kids. Not to mention that I am totally excited about chicken fried steak, mashed potato's and green beans from Texas Roadhouse :)

Today was Caleb's birthday (Larry and Andi's son) and tomorrow morning, Tyler will be joining him and a few friends for some laser tag. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEB!

It really felt like I had more to blog about, but I guess not. Or maybe I am just being extra lazy right now and pretending that I have nothing else to blog about so that I can crawl in bed and read. No, I wouldn't do that. Not Me! ;)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Check out them shoesss

Ava and I met up with my old friend Katie for lunch yesterday. It was nice to catch up and talk about some things that were left unsaid. We sure have missed Katie and Mason.

After lunch, we went to the mall with my Aunt Tami for some shopping. She told me a couple weeks ago that she wanted to buy me a pair of UGGS (I have been wanting them forever!) for keeping Lily for her during the week. I tried to explain to her that she owes me NOTHING and that we really enjoy having Lily here with us, but she insisted. (Lily is her schnauzer and I absolutely LOVE her) She also bought Ava her first pair of Nike's and they are freaking cute! Thanks Aunt Tami!!




I am about to run to the store while Ava is napping and pick up a few things for Superbowl tonight. Jennifer and Ryan will be joining us here at the house and my Dad my stop by for a little bit as well. I am not a huge fan of football really (I prefer baseball) so Jennifer and I have planned on scrapbooking while the boys watch the game. I have only made 2 pages so far for Ava's scrapbook and they are both of the day she was born. I made a couple pages for Elise a while back and I really want to finish up a few more for her too. I'd love to do one for Tyler, but he just doesn't really appreciate or care about that kind of thing.


Next weekend we are getting family portraits done and I am totally excited. We haven't had any done since Ava was born and she is almost a year old!